Your Awesome Vows....

I’ve attached a small collection of vows for you both to read through.

But before you start with this, I’d suggest you switch the kettle on (or pop open the Champagne!) and turn off any distractions.

Grab a cosy blanket, get comfortable together, and settle in.

Now, I certainly don’t expect every vow or promise to resonate with every couple (you’re all unique) but I do hope that you find some inspiration and perhaps can pick out ideas that feel right to you.

In saying that, when it’s right, it’s simply right…the perfect vow might just be waiting within the collection below.

Why have vows?

I believe your Vows are the most important part of the marriage ceremony.

They are the promises you want to pledge to each other for the rest of your life together.

They are the words which reflect your dreams together, your love and your special connection.

They are the words you will fall back on in years to come, to remind you of the commitment you have made to each other.

Vows date night

Why not plan a special vows date night.

Beforehand (and separately) spend a little time writing down personal ideas. Then on your date night share your thoughts with each other.

Look for similarities and talk about which ones mean the most to you as a couple.

Then narrow them down to the points that matter the most to you both, then you can script them as vows/promises.

You may choose to have the same vows, or perhaps, vows that are different but…separately compliment in their tone.

Surprise vows

Keeping your vows, a surprise from your partner can make for a unique and special moment in your ceremony.

The reaction on your partner’s face when they hear your chosen words for the first time will be memorable for you and the guests.

IF you do decide to go with this approach, I would strongly recommend that you set some guidelines. Think about the approximate length and whether to include humour or not.

However, I wouldn’t worry too much if each of your vows has a different tone or talks about different elements of your relationship. Your vows reflect your individual personalities so will always be perfect.

If you do decide to go for the surprise option, I recommend sending your vows to me (separately) for review. That way, I can provide feedback if I think there is any great discrepancy in length, tone etc. then you can decide whether to revise (or not) without ruining the surprise.

Legal Vows

Whilst you may (or may not) choose to make personal declarations & vows to each other, I will always ask you to recite or repeat the legal vow. This is kept separate and really just avoids any confusion; it also makes it crystal clear for our lovely witnesses.

‘I xxxx xxxx, accept you xxxx xxxx, in marriage as my lawful wedded wife/husband.’

Read, Recite or Repeat

Once you have written your vows, I will discuss with you whether you would like to,

1. Learn and recite your vows.

2. Repeat your vows after me.

3. Read your vows from a handheld script (most couples seem to choose this option).

Don’t forget that if you speak from the heart, whatever you choose will be perfect!

You may like to try reading these out loud together.

Remember you can alter the examples below to suit…

I Promise

“I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own. I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how. Completely and forever.”

All My Heart

‘With all my heart, I (insert name) take you (insert name) to be my husband. I promise to be your companion, partner and friend, your ally and your greatest fan. I will be your comfort in disappointment, and your strength in times of need. I promise to love you, trust you and respect you for all the days of my life.”

The Nightmare Before Christmas (short extract) - Tim Burton

‘My dearest friend, if you don’t mind, I’d like to join you by your side. Where we could gaze into the stars, and sit together, now and forever. For it is plain as anyone can see, we’re simply meant to be’.

Hunting Prince Dracula (short extract) - Kerri Maniscalo

‘For there are no limits to the stars; their numbers are infinite. Which is precisely why I measure my love for you by them. An amount too boundless to count’.

Share each other’s – short & sweet

Claire: “Mark vowed to change me from ‘the lady friend’ in his mobile phone contacts to ‘the wifey’.’’ Mark: “Claire vowed to only rescue one more dog.”

Anecdotal Wedding Vows

Marie: “James, you and I both know how indecisive I can be at times. I really don’t like to make decisions. But if there is one decision in my life that I know is the right one, it’s to spend the rest of my life with you. There is an infinite number of things I love about you. I love your thoughtfulness and your ability to keep me grounded. I love your loyalty to me and our relationship. I love the way you weirdly get excited about finding ‘the perfect skimming stone’ at the beach and I love how when you laugh really hard, your nose starts to crinkle up. I promise to be patient with you, even if it means that I must listen to you dissect every single rugby match during 6 nations; even though I was also there and saw it all myself. James, I love you.”

James: "Marie, when we first met, I never imagined this day would come, but now that we are here, I couldn't have imagined choosing anyone else but you to go through life's journey with. I love your laugh, your smile, your caring nature and that funny face you make when you’re pretending to be cross with me BUT always half smiling at the same time! Marie, don’t tell anyone but... I even love it when you spend way too long in the shower, singing incredibly loudly and getting most of the words wrong in each song you sing. I promise to support you, to honour you and to love you unconditionally. I can't imagine where I would be without you, and I cannot wait to continue this crazy journey with you by my side, I love you".

Timeless, Romantic Wedding Vows

Kitty: “Susie, I knew from the very moment I laid eyes on you that you were my forever. Someway, somehow, I was determined to make you mine. And from this day forward my heart is entirely yours.... As we continue to grow in our lives together, I promise to give you all my words when needed, and to share in the silence when they are not, to pick you up if you are down, to love you unconditionally, to lay beside you when needed most, to care for you and our families for as long as we live, to adventure with you always, to say I love you before falling asleep each night, and to always know in the deepest part of my soul, that when challenges arise, we will always find our way back to one another. Susie, you are my everything and this is my promise to you.”

Susie: “Kitty, of all the people you’ve met on life’s journey and of all the places you’ve been, somehow and some way, you ended up here—with me. It is the most powerful and humbling fact that I can accept. I used to think that we met by chance but now I know without a doubt that the universe put you in front of me because we were meant to spend our lives together. You have filled my life with joy and have given me a sense of peace; a peace that I had never known before you. Kitty, you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and… the best ‘sous chef’ a girl could ask for. Although today marks the start to the rest of our lives, I know it will not be enough time with you. I will not take our time together for granted. And because words cannot do it, I promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much I love you".

Romantic, All-Encompassing Wedding Vows

John: "Amanda, I take you to be my partner for life. I promise, above all else, to live in truth with you and to communicate fully and lovingly. I give you my hand and my heart as a sanctuary of warmth and peace. And pledge you my love, devotion and honour as I join my life to yours."

Amanda: “John, I promise, if there’s only one rolo left, I’ll let you have it.”

Worthy Vows

"Hannah, from this day forward I promise to be worth it.

Worth the time.

Worth the trip.

Worth the energy.

Worth the embarrassment.

Worth your love.

I promise that you will always count.

You will always come first.

From the moment you entered my world, you have filled it with life, colour and energy like never before…

like a rosy red apple in a mud puddle … or a butterfly on a nettle … or a rose bud in an overgrown garden.

You are my rose, Hannah, and I promise to devote the rest of my life to be your earth!"

I believe in love

"You know that there are some things I don’t believe in.

But today, I want to tell you about some things I do believe in.

I believe in beautiful sunrises and spectacular sunsets.

I believe in earthy hikes in the woods and breezy long walks on the beach.…

I believe in all the beauty, the mystery and the wonder of life, and I believe that these joys, like all joys, are multiplied when you have someone special to share them with.

I believe it’s you!

There’s no one else I’d rather spend my life with.

I love your winning smile, your throaty laugh, your curiosity, and your adventurousness.

And most of all, I love the way you make me happier than I thought ever possible.

That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I’m marrying you, my love.

For better or worse I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to accept you the way you are.

I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities, and outlook on life that you have; I won’t try to reshape you in a different image.

I promise to respect you as a person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realise that those are sometimes different, but no less important, than my own.

I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my personal world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change, as we both change, in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give, and all I feel inside, in the only way I know how … completely and forever".

Straightforward commitment

"I came to this place today as a man/woman standing alone.

I will walk from it proudly by your side.

Today I cross the threshold with you and enter a new and lasting lifetime commitment.

I commit myself to you as your loving husband/wife".

With this ring

"With this ring, I give you my promise that from this day forward, I will give you all my love, and you shall not walk alone.

I have no greater gift to give.

As your love is my anchor, and your trust is my strength, may my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.

As this ring has no end or beginning, so shall my love for you be.

As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am, and all that I shall become".

An ordinary day

"Today is mostly an ordinary day….the sun rose in one part of the world and set in another, babies were born, people slept in, and we, well, we just so happened to be getting married!

But the not-so ordinary part of today is that I get to make the most important vows of my lifetime, my wedding vows to you.

I vow to cherish you as you are, embracing every aspect of your being.

I vow to protect you and keep you safe in my embrace.

I vow to laugh at all your jokes, even when they’re not that funny.

I vow to continue to love your children, as if they were my own, as we ‘officially’ become a family. But most of all, I vow to love you, under any circumstances; happy or sad, easy or difficult, through the sunshine and through the rain for the rest of every wonderfully ordinary day".

Reasons

To me - your voice sounds like a smile after an unexpected compliment.

To me - your generosity towards others is a sincere & never-ending wishing well.

To me - your laugh is a welcome release, guiding me, even on the toughest of days.

To me - your beauty is timeless and encompasses every single part of you, both body & soul.

To me - your friendship is unmatched and a bond between us, that grows stronger by the moment. To me - your love is a gift, one so precious that no man could ever deserve it.

To you - I will promise to respect, honour and love, all that you are to me, which, simply, is everything.

You used to kill spiders (consider reading a poem instead of a traditional vow)

I’m so proud that you’ve changed your ways,

you used to kill spiders my dear.

I’d hear first the screaming,

then the running around...

the shouting ‘he’s huge & he’s near’.

Then came the ‘help!’,

In a strange war-like cry,

That poor bloody spider,

He only wanted a fly!

Why won’t you help me?

Why are you laughing?

Well don’t just stand there,

Let’s give him a bashing.

Over time I’ve convinced you

The error of your ways,

You now re-home outside

ALL arachnids for praise.

To spin a new web

To continue with life

And that’s why my dear

I’ll now be your wife!

Pirate vows (ok this one is an acquired taste, but you get the idea, adapt a theme to suit yourselves!)

Groom: I, Mad Dog _______________ take ye, Saucy ______________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Good Wench with a stout right hook, the bright dawn of each new day and the soft bed of each day's night. I promise to love ye and honour ye; to make ye laugh when yer feelin' out of sorts and pretend to listen to ye when ye babble on and on about nothin' in particular. I will protect you from the elements and the elephants should we ever encounter them as it is my understanding that they can be very large and unpredictable. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or poverty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone within the sound of me voice will know that what I am really speaking about is you. All of this will I undertake until there are no horizons left to chase and the rum is gone.

Bride: I, Saucy _________________ take ye, Mad Dog __________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Salty Jack with a crooked smile, the foggy haze of each new day and the lumpy (but familiar) mattress of each day's night. I promise to love ye and honour ye; to make ye laugh so hard the rum comes out yer nose and pretend to listen to ye when ye babble on about nothin' in particular. I will protect you from my wrath and from giraffes which I understand are very tall and will sometimes step on people because they are not looking where they are stepping. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or poverty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone within the sound of me voice will know that I am daydreaming again. All of this will I undertake until there are no horizons left to chase and the rum is gone.

Taking Turns (stand facing each other and take turns to read your vows)

Partner1: I love the faces you make when you stretch, I love that you let me tickle you as much as I do, and I love that I can truly be myself with you, as crazy I can be, and you love me all the more for it.

Partner2: I love you for never being afraid to be silly with me, for putting up with my unique sense of humour, and for giving me the privilege of being the one who knows how truly hilarious you are.

Partner1: I love your immense capacity for love, whether it’s directed at me, your family, two little frogs, or for your stuffed animals.

Partner2: I love you for being my best and most supportive friend, for always treating me with love, trust, and respect, and for your infinite understanding and patience.

Partner1: I love the passion, determination, and perseverance you maintain in everything you do. It has always been, and I know it will always be, an inspiration.

Partner2: I love you for always believing in me, for making me feel strong, and for helping me to believe in myself.

Partner1: I vow to always bring you water at night, tuck you in and give you Raspberry [my teddy bear] in the morning, make you tea when you’re sick, and give you Ibuprofen one pill at a time when you need it.

Partner2: I promise to grab your toes with my toes when we cuddle at night, and when old age has robbed my toes of their monkey-like dexterity, I will just place my feet gently against yours until we fall asleep together like we always have.

Partner1: I vow to always give you your space when you need it and to always be understanding and supportive, no matter how stressed you get.

Partner2: I promise I will always be your partner in life, whether you need someone to help you get through tough times, someone to support you as you work towards your goals in life, or just someone to brush your teeth with.

Partner1: I vow to always talk to you when I’m struggling, hurt, or sad. Thank you for the patience you’ve always had for me.

Partner2: I promise to always be open and honest with you, even though it might take me until right before we go to sleep to get the words out.

Give & Take (I ask the questions; you say I do)

Alex:

Do you promise to kill spiders and everything else that Peter deems creepy or gross?

If you ever find yourself sinking in a paddle boat, do you attest that it is ALWAYS your turn to swim?

Do you promise to let Peter rein you in at the music shop, because you probably have enough guitars, for now?

Do you promise to try not to steal the covers at night or beat Peter up because you’re having that ninja dream again?

Do you vow to embrace Peter’s love of the ocean and enjoy it with him as often as possible?

Peter:

Do you promise to attend car shows with Alex and at least pretend to show interest in horsepower, engines, and custom modifications, even if you have no idea what he’s talking about?

Do you promise to go fishing, provided Alex takes care of anything slimy, scaly, wiggly, or just plain yukky?

Do you promise to let Alex rein you in at the shoe shop, because you probably have enough shoes, for now?

Do you promise to regularly scoop the cat litter and try not to bring home any more strays?

Do you promise not to complain about how loud Alex plays his guitar, unless or until the neighbours complain?

Our Vows (when only one of you wants to speak but you both share the sentiment; hold hands & embrace at the end)

"We pledge our mutual trust and respect.

We will provide support and encouragement for personal and mutual growth.

We will grant each other the freedom to change and to nurture and fulfil our dreams. As friends and companions, we will be open, honest, loyal, and devoted to one another.

We will share and celebrate in life’s joys, we will brace and shelter each other through its storms, and we will assist and guide each other in the future path of our joined lives, whether dark or bright.

We will appreciate our differences and enjoy together the traditions we have each inherited.

We commit to create a home filled with love and peace, kindness, and compassion, warmth and generosity.

We will strive to be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness.

We promise to always give our love a fighting chance.

And, of course, we promise to dance, drink and be merry today and all days yet to come!".

To be there to see it with you my love (adapted) – Tyler Knot Gregson

"To be there to see it with you my love,

the wings of geese in the lightlessness,

the blur of busy birds flying softly on summer porches,

the earthquake of thunder on evenings where you swear dusk will never fade out.

Be for this,

keep being,

for there is music in all this,

quietly it plays,

almost inaudible,

but the melody remains,

be for this,

and lend yourself to us the perfect cacophony".

The Old Piano (adapted)

"When we are both aged and have shared our wonderful life together, then, then I’ll be content. For then I will have lived knowing you.

I will have experienced every facet of our marriage.

I shall sit quietly by the fireside listening, listening to you, talking to me, through the piano.

Then your wattled fingers won’t stroke the keys with so much grace or assurance anymore, and the tempo will be rubato, halting, but still that sound, your sound.

Notes quivering and clear in their singularity, filing down the hallway, sounding out intention.

And the melody, well the melody will be somehow prettier as a remnant than whatever it used to be.

So, when we’re both aged and have shared our wonderful life together, then, only then I’ll be content".

The Beatrice Letters (short extract) - Lemony Snicket

"I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world".

Promises, Promises

"Thank you for loving me.

Because of your love I feel like I can face anything, so for that, I promise myself to you.

I promise to always give you my kisses, my smiles, my hugs, my laughter, my tears, my hopes, and my fears.

I promise to always laugh at horribly inappropriate things with you.

I promise I will say I’m sorry when I am wrong — though we both know I never am — and to forgive you when you are.

I promise to make fun with you OR at least to kiss you after making fun OF you.

I promise that even though we both know I’m the better driver, I won’t gloat about it….much.

I promise to support your dreams, even if they scare the crap out of me.

I promise to encourage you to be a better man, to reach your goals and to live your life in a way that will make our family proud.

I promise to always say 'I love you,' even if we fight, because you should always know how much you mean to me.

I promise to never take you for granted and will always say thank you for everything you do and all the love you give.

I will always hold your hand because when you hold mine, my nerves calm, I sleep better, and though not all may be right with the world, I PROMISE, all is right with us".